1977 : Long hair
2007 : Longing for hair

1977: KEG
2007: EKG

1977 : Acid rock
2007 : Acid reflux

1977 : Moving to California because it’s cool
2007 : Moving to Arizona because it’s warm

1977 : Trying to look like Marlon Brando or
Liz Taylor
2007: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or
Liz Taylor

1977 : Seeds and stems
2007 : Roughage

1977 : Hoping for a BMW
2007: Hoping for a BM

19 77 : Going to a new, hip joint
2007 : Receiving a new hip joint

1977 : Rolling Stones
2007: Kidney Stones

1977 : Screw the system
2007: Upgrade the system

1977: Disco
2007: Costco

1977 : Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2007: Children begging you to get their heads
shaved

1977 : Passing the drivers’ test
2007: Passing the vision test

1977 : Whatever
2007: Depends

Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this
will certainly change things. Each year the staff at
Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to
try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:

The people who are starting college this fall across
the nation were born in 1989.

They are too young to remember the 1st space
shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering! machine

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: ‘Where’s the Beef?’, ‘I’d walk
a mile for a Camel’, or ‘de plane, Boss, de plane.’

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.

30 Years difference

1974: Long hair
2004: Longing for hair

1974: KEG
2004: EKG

1974: Acid rock
2004: Acid reflux

1974: Moving to California because it’s cool
2004: Moving to California because it’s warm

1974: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2004: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1974: Seeds and stems
2004: Roughage

1974: Hoping for a BMW
2004: Hoping for a BM

1974: The Grateful Dead
2004: Dr. Kevorkian

1974: Going to a new, hip joint
2004: Receiving a new hip joint

1974: Rolling Stones
2004: Kidney Stones

1974: Being called into to the principal’s office
2004: Calling the principal’s office

1974: Disco
2004: Costco

1974: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2004: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1974: Passing the drivers’ test
2004: Passing the vision test

Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at BeloitCollege in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1985. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can’t imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where’s the Beef?", "I’d walk a mile for a Camel" or "de plane Boss, de plane."

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type? That’s for those of you who have trouble reading the smaller print!
c

Hey everyone. I am somewhat new to this whole diary thing, so to start out, my name is Olive Jones. Yeah I know, Olive is an odd name. But here’s how it happened. The day I was born, my parents (Judith and Tim) hadn’t thought of a name for me yet. Such nice parents *sarcastic*, I know. Anyways, they looked at me, and mom said “Oh honey, look at those olive eyes, aren’t they precious.” So that’s my name’s origin, my precious olive-colored eyes. I was born on May 24, 1981 in a gas station, right next to the slushy machine. Guess what they didn’t sell for weeks. LOL. Ok, so far my parents had me in a gas station, didn’t have a name picked out, and did I mention they thought I was going to be a girl. Now a little physical features. I have midnight black hair. I am a little stocky around the tummy area. I have olive eyes, a little stubble, and a small scar under my right eyelid from where a neighbor’s guinea pig attacked me when I was 7. Every day I get up at 5 am, clean up, eat my usual breakfast of a smoothie and a salted pretzel, and head to college. I am studying to be an architect, but until then it’s just a part-time job as a counter attendant at the local 10 cinema multiplex. It’s not that bad if you think about it. Except for the time crazy old Mrs. Caldwell lost her ticket. How she lost it walking from the ticket desk to the snack counter 10 feet away, I don’t know. PS, if you’re wondering what happened to Mr. Caldwell, he had an “accident”. Anyways when I tried to help her, I arrived home with popcorn in places that popcorn should never be.
Well, gotta run. I have to get to work. Let’s just hope Mrs. Caldwell doesn’t want to see a movie tonight. Then again I do need something else to write about.
Later you find out that he was teased for having a girl’s name

Just in case you weren’t feeling too old today.

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced two years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable..

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don’t know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: ‘Where’s the Beef?’, ‘I’d walk a mile for a Camel ‘, or ‘de plane Boss, de plane’.
McDonald’s never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don’t have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list.

P.S. Save the earth.It’s the only planet with chocolate

I have one of those "Old Fashioned" popcorn machines that I haven’t taken very good care of. It has built up oil where the kernels go that smokes every time I turn it on. It wont clean with soap and hot water… any other suggestions ? Thanks !!!

I am in 8th grade, and am writing a book called "Mr. Olive Jones". It is in the form of diary entries. Please judge it. I would really appreciate constructive criticism.

May 24th, 2007

Hey everyone. I am somewhat new to this whole diary thing, so to start out, my name is Olive Jones. Yeah I know, Olive is an girl’s name. And yes, I was teased as a kid. But here’s how it happened. The day I was born, my parents (Judith and Tim) hadn’t thought of a name for me yet. Such nice parents, I know. Anyways, they looked at me, and mom said “Oh honey, look at those olive eyes, aren’t they precious.” So that’s my name’s origin, my precious olive-colored eyes. I was born on May 24, 1981 in a gas station, right next to the slushy machine. Ok, so far my parents had me in a gas station, didn’t have a name picked out, oh, and did I mention they thought I was going to be a girl.
Now a little physical features. I have midnight black hair. I am a little stocky around the tummy area. I have olive eyes, a little stubble, and a small scar under my right eyelid from where a neighbor’s guinea pig attacked me when I was 7. Every day I get up at 5 am, clean up, eat my usual breakfast of a smoothie and a salted pretzel, and head to college. I am studying to be an architect, but until then it’s just a part-time job as a counter attendant at the local 10 cinema multiplex. It’s not that bad if you think about it. Except for the time crazy old Mrs. Caldwell lost her ticket. How she lost it walking from the ticket desk to the snack counter 10 feet away, I don’t know. PS, if you’re wondering what happened to Mr. Caldwell, he had an “accident”. Anyways when I tried to help her, I arrived home with popcorn in places that popcorn should never be. I live in a small town in Utah called Archerville. Though my job only pays enough to live in my studio apartment in Arctic Valley Apartment Complexes.
Now that you know who I am, do you know what day it is? My 26th birthday of course! You might be wondering why a 26 year old MAN is writing in a diary. Well, my great grandma Betsy hasn’t been good with gifts since her 89th birthday. When I was 6, I really wanted a diary, even thought I never got one. Today when she said she got me something that I’ve always wanted, I didn’t know she meant since I was 6. Anyways, since I am an aspiring artist I was planning on drawing in it. That’s when Betsy told me “It would make my heart happy if you wrote in it.” I mean she’s 97 going like 500 or something. The old bag’s heart better be happy or she’s going to make like a frog and croak. But, legend has it, she has millions of dollars to bequeath. Well I gotta go eat some of Uncle Dominic’s famous Quintuple Chocolate Heart Attack Cake. Come to think of it, a heart attack cake for Betsy may just be the perfect thing if I want to get out of this dump.